If you want to start boosting your confidence, start with your wardrobe. Have you heard the saying, “When you look good, you feel good”? It really is true. The way you show up plays a big part in your confidence. (this does not mean you can’t run to the grocery in your yoga pants) When you show up for a client, or a networking event, you should try to dress in something that makes you feel amazing. Maybe it’s a pant suit, or a fabulous blazer paired with a pretty top. Maybe it’s a bright dress that always makes you feel gorgeous.
If you are slow blinking at me right now, just know that I see you and I get it. It’s been a long few years and now I’m asking you to put on something other than your stretchy pants. It’s okay if you don’t have anything to wear. It really is. Maybe you had things and they don’t exactly fit. That’s okay too. Styles have changed anyway, so go cruise the mall or your favorite boutique and you’ll see something to inspire you. I encourage you to try new things. Try a new silhouette or color. I mean, low rise skinny jeans were in for so long, I know it might feel weird, but trust me: trouser pants are fabulous. I’m loving the wide leg silhouettes too. There is absolutely NO SHAME in going up a size or so. Wearing what fits your current body is always the best solution. (Right about now, you might be tempted to buy something in a smaller size as an incentive, but I beg of you, please don’t.) Just find something that fits your body right now. It might require a trip to the tailors, but I assure you that is perfectly normal. Most of us humans can’t wear things right off the rack. We need a little help from our tailor friends.
Wearing a well fitting outfit can boost your confidence in ways that alcohol never could. And that outfit won’t cause you to feel terrible the next day. Just saying…
This is a tough one, but I know you can do it. We all have those “Negative Nelly” voices in our head. It’s the ones that say you aren’t the pretty one, or maybe that you aren’t the right size, or whatever. I’m here to tell you that they are WRONG. Seriously. I’m not a psychologist, but a lot of this “mix tape” that runs in our heads is formed with early messaging. Maybe it came from our home, maybe some kid was mean to you in kindergarten, or maybe a mean girl in high school. My advice? Do not talk to yourself that way. If someone was talking about your best friend or your child like this, you would NEVER stand for it. So, do yourself a favor and shut it down. Your confidence is hiding underneath. We need to protect it.
Easier said than done. I know. I have my own demons. Mine like to tell me that “I don’t belong”. Well, you know, it’s taken many years, but when I hear it, I counter it. I absolutely belong. I am enough. Keep standing up to these internal bullies and you’ll eventually win more and more and then you change that mix tape. It’s magic.
Are you saying the negative self talk out loud? I’m too fat. I’m not pretty enough…whatever. Well, stop that. You deserve better. Your best friend would agree. Be the confident girl who lifts up other women, yourself included.
Change the dialog. Replace those thoughts with positive affirmations. Find what works for you, but do not give into that internal bully. I get it, it might feel weird at first, but you deserve to treat yourself with respect and KINDNESS.
The people you surround yourself with have a profound impact on your confidence. Take the time to build a network of friends & colleagues who are strong, empowering, and uplifting. It only takes a minute to share kindness. Your network of amazing women should be celebrating you. And you should celebrate them as well. Lift each other up. Maybe even, learn a new perspective.
Find networking events & social groups with other empowered women. When it’s the right fit, these women will help you feel more confident. But…what if you don’t feel confident enough to go to these places? Well, as the saying goes, “Fake it ’til you make it”. Consider it a crash course in method acting. And don’t get discouraged, while one group might not be a good fit, there is a group out there ready to raise you up.
Now…go be AMAZING. You’ve got this.
Want to talk about a Branding or Portrait Session? Reach out…I’m here to help.